Random thoughts of where you came from

I don't know where you came from but I know I was excited when you found me on Facebook. But, after a couple days I don't know if you were the best thing for me. In my current situation I don't know if I'm happy, content or just here but I do know that the feeling I used to have about love appears when I see you message me but I don't get that same feeling whenever my boyfriend walks in the room. I admit that I am in my relationship due to circumstance. We have a kid together and they years just keep passing and I haven't called it quits because of my kid. What do I do? I have lost myself and I know that but more importantly I have lost the feeling of what it's like to be happy and in love. But I found that emotion again. I missed it just as much as I missed you. You were my first everything. My first love, my first real relationship, my FIRST so you will always outweigh everyone else. So, even though you may not know that I can't have you sending me messages or posting on my comments because it gives me hope. I don't know if it's hope for you or hope for me. I don't have the heart to break up what I have to pursue something that is uncertain. Maybe it's a good thing you found me because everything that I have just said rings true to who I used to be which is the person I still want to be. I am unhappy where I am and I do want to be in love and you have opened that can of worms all over again. Even though you have not said it I know that you are with someone and probably have been for a while but if you say it then it makes it real and that's why you haven't told me that yet.I can tell that I was a great love to you and I hear it in your voice that I still mean something to you now. Should I  continue to talk to you so I can hang on to that feeling? Should I leave you alone knowing that this isn't going to end up the way I would like? What should I do?

One thing is definite... I keep having random thoughts of you constantly, and I LOVE IT!!!!